Sunday, August 15, 2010

My Bad - Not

Isn't it a relief to hear the words "it's not your fault"?

For 20 years I always thought it was my fault that I wasn't healthy and slim. I assigned all sorts of negative descriptors to myself:
  • lazy
  • lack of self control
  • gluttonous
  • undisciplined 
  • careless
  • ugly
  • gross
I remember wondering how I could raise 4 babies while going to graduate school and working but not have enough strength to loose weight. Duh - it was easy! Eat less=weigh less, right?

I thought that if I ate the Standard American Diet (SAD) - but less of SAD-  I would lose weight. Then when I couldn't stick to that diet I would berate myself. My SIL, Christine, once told me that I was entirely too hard on myself. She was right.

In the past 6 months (yes! 6 months of nutritarian eating!) and 50 lbs of weight loss I have learned that it wasn't my fault. I had no idea how to feed myself. I was eating foods that created addictions and more hunger. My body wasn't getting the nutrition it needed so I had overwhelming cravings that I couldn't ignore. My diet of meat, cheese, and simple carbs was starving me nutritionally. Your body will not let you starve. It will create an urge to eat that cannot be denied. So I ate more of the diet that was starving me. It was a vicious, destructive, frustrating cycle that went on for 20 years.

Now I am eating such nutritionally dense food that my appetite has all but disappeared. My body only craves food when it is really hungry for more nutrition. I don't even feel the urge to eat when bored, sad, or lonely - those were my big food triggers.

If you struggle with your weight let me pat you on the shoulder and say, "There, there. It's not your fault." Eat a ton of veggies, pig out on the beans and lentils, gorge on the fruit and start saving your money for some new clothes honey, cause those pants are gonna fall right off you pretty soon.

What I Ate Today:

30 oz of green smoothie
small slice of whole wheat banana bread

Soy Nut Mix

Zucchini spaghetti ( blend fresh tomatoes, fresh basil, and garlic and serve over cold shredded zucchini - so good!)
Lemon squash (very thin slices of yellow squash topped with a spritz of fresh lemon juice, a small drizzle of olive oil, salt, pepper, light sprinkle of shredded Parmesan, and chopped fresh mint. If I make this I will drop the oil and cheese and I think it will still taste fabulous!)

Now, quit beating yourself up and have some watermelon!


Linda said...

You look so good! And how much has your husband lost? There is a "then" picture of the 2 of you so why not post a 'now" picture? For me it has been 4 months and I have lost 30 pounds. The best report however is that I have very little arthritis pain now.

princess singular said...

what is your soy nut mix?

Robin said...

Princess - It is the mix from costco and contains soy beans, almonds, pumpkin seeds, and dried cranberries. The nuts/seeds are toasted with oil so it is high in fat but a good, quick, filling snack on a day I am gone from home all day.

princess singular said...

Thank you! Your last post really resonated with me. I have been a huge (no pun intended) fence straddler for quite a while with this plan...though I've been a vegan for quite a while now, as you know it is very easy to eat a crappy vegan diet. I am inspired to really go all the way this time!

Sally said...

This post really made me think. I am surprised it didn't get more comments as I'd like to know other peoples thoughts about this.

What you said about eating such nutritionally dense food that your appetite has shrunk--I noticed that at the cabin. I think that is fascinating.